Hi, I'm Spuddie!

Well hello everyone! Today I'm going to tell a story all about ME! That's right, me! It is also being continued on my friend Neros1234's email list, if you would like to sign up for that. The story is called Hi, I'm Spuddie! and was written a long time ago, in 2013. Here goes!

CHAPTER 1, PART 1

Hi! I'm Spuddie! Or formally known as Spuddie/Spud/Joe III. I am 3 and just had my birthday last month. And I-BWACHOO! Am sick. On Christmas Eve. Sigh. This is my life. I lose everything because I don't have any arms, people make fun of me, and now I'm sick on Christmas Eve.And the most important thing about me is- KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

Oh gosh, who could that be? Why would anyone come at this ungodly hour?

"Okay, okay, I'm coming! Jeez!" I opened the door.  I regretted it as soon as I did. "Psylett! What a..um...surprise!"

Psylett is my cousin. He's a duck that lives in the ground. "Hi Spuddie. Mewwy Cwistmas."

"What brings you here? I asked. Just then I realized his eye. "Oh my gosh, what the heck happened now?!" I screeched.

"Wew, um.." he looked around, "I got into a wittle twouble with a ski wift."

Ugh. I understand family helping family, but this kinda stuff happens EVERY MONTH. It started about 2 years ago, when I was 1 and he was 27. He had come over to my house for Thanksgiving (he wasn't INVITED or anything) with his two front teeth knocked out. That's why he tawks wike dis. And ever since then, he's been coming over to my house all the time after some daredevil stunt for me to nurse him and pamper him and fuss over him. He's a bit annoying at times. But anyway, back to the story.

"I was walking awong, minding my own business-" he started.

"I've heard THAT one before." I remarked.

"Wew, I wanted to twy skiing, so I got up out of the gwound-"

"WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT GETTING OUT OF THE GROUND?! Remember the LAST time you did that?!"

I shuddered to think of the time he popped up near a zoo and had gotten beaten by a gorilla. Suddenly he rose up out of the ground. Whoops. I forgot he was 3 feet taller than me.

"I AM 29 YEAWS OWD AND YOU AWE 3! YOU DO NOT BOSS ME AWOUND!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, you can cut out the drama." I said. He settled down.

"Anyway, I'm weawy here to ask you something." I braced myself for the usual pleading.

"Spuddie, do you want to come to Antarctica with me?"

CHAPTER 1, PART 2

Woah, this was a new one! Psylett was crazy, but I didn't know he was THIS crazy!
"Um...why are you going to Antarctica? How are you going to Antarctica?!"
"I'll fly you! Because it's fun!" he responded.
"This is going to be a disaster."
"No it isn't!"
I knew there would be no chance of me NOT going. Psylett would argue you to death. That's why I let him stay at my house all those times, I just thought it would be better to let him sleep n my couch than to be arguing with him whenever he decided to come over, which usually happened to be 3:00 AM.
"Well, okay, but do we have to? I mean, is that even legal?"
"It's either that or Africa, where they have these things cawed hyenas."
"What the heck is a hyena?"
"Wew, they sound wike this." he said, and gave me a laugh that sounded like a blimp crash-landing into a wagon full of monkeys.
"AAAAGGGGHHH!! TURN IT OFF!! TURN IT OFF!!!' I screamed.
Just then I realized I hadn't sneezed once since Psylett arrived, and I didn't feel so sick anymore! Psylett must have cured me or something! Or maybe it was just the fact that I had been standing in the freezing cold for 10 minutes. Whatever.
"All right, let's not go to Africa." I said. "But when are we leaving for Antarctica? You do realize it's Christmas Eve, right?"
"Yes, I do! That's the whole weason we're going! We'll probably bump into Santa!"
"Wait, we're leaving TONIGHT?! You're crazy! We'll miss Christmas tomorrow!"
He gave me a mischievous smile.
"No, we won't!"
I sighed. It was going to be a long night.

CHAPTER 2

Psylett flew out of the ground, and I climbed on his back. He started flying, and at first I thought it was really boring. But as we got up in the air, it was purely magical. I saw everyone's Christmas lights on, and snow was covering everything, and the stars were glimmering like little candles up in the sky. It was wonderful. I then fell asleep for most of the ride and woke up somewhere in South America. I guess I should use this time to tell you more about Psylett. You see, when we were little, like 1 or 2 weeks old, Psylett was a potato too. But he did have something in common with what he is now- he was a little daredevil. He would bite on electrical cords, he would roll dangerously close to the stairs, and he would get into his mom's makeup. A LOT. I even have a picture.

[insert funny picture of Spuddie and Psylett the potato wearing tons of bad makeup here]

Guess which one is him? You see, he looks like a zombie clown! Well anyway, once he saw his mom's makeup, he wanted MORE. So the next time his mom brought him into a store, he grabbed the nearest thing that looked like face paint or makeup. He wouldn't have done that if he had been able to read the warning on it. It said: 'Magical serum. ABSOLUTELY DO NOT KEEP IN REACH OF BABIES!' But it was too late. He ripped open the box, and liquid poured over his hands. Suddenly he disappeared, and didn't return for a couple minutes. When he returned though, he had become a 29-year old duck. His mom was so scared that she dropped Psylett and ran away. He was so embarrassed that he decided to live in the ground from then on. Poor Psylett. Another thing is- "WOAH! OW!" I screamed. "Awe (are) you okay?" Psylett asked. "We had some swight turbulence." he continued, turning around. At that same moment, my hat fell into the depths below. "Noo, my haaaat!" I bawled as I looked shouted over Psylett's back. "SPUDDIE!!" he screamed. I looked up at him- wait, up? Suddenly, I realized I didn't feel so stable anymore. "AAAHHHH!!" I screamed as I fell (because, as we all know, panicking and screaming your head off in a bad situation is the best thing to do.) "I'M COMING!! OHMIGOSH, WATCH OUT!!!!" Psylett shrieked. I looked down but it was too late. There was a huge pole sticking out right where I was falling. "AIEEEEE!" I screamed.

I hope you enjoyed it! This story will be continued later. Bye for now!

~Spuddie/Spud/Joe III