Hi, I'm Spuddie!

Well hello everyone! Today I'm going to tell a story all about ME! That's right, me! It is also being continued on my friend Neros1234's email list, if you would like to sign up for that. The story is called Hi, I'm Spuddie! and was written a long time ago, in 2013. Here goes!

CHAPTER 1, PART 1

Hi! I'm Spuddie! Or formally known as Spuddie/Spud/Joe III. I am 3 and just had my birthday last month. And I-BWACHOO! Am sick. On Christmas Eve. Sigh. This is my life. I lose everything because I don't have any arms, people make fun of me, and now I'm sick on Christmas Eve.And the most important thing about me is- KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

Oh gosh, who could that be? Why would anyone come at this ungodly hour?

"Okay, okay, I'm coming! Jeez!" I opened the door.  I regretted it as soon as I did. "Psylett! What a..um...surprise!"

Psylett is my cousin. He's a duck that lives in the ground. "Hi Spuddie. Mewwy Cwistmas."

"What brings you here? I asked. Just then I realized his eye. "Oh my gosh, what the heck happened now?!" I screeched.

"Wew, um.." he looked around, "I got into a wittle twouble with a ski wift."

Ugh. I understand family helping family, but this kinda stuff happens EVERY MONTH. It started about 2 years ago, when I was 1 and he was 27. He had come over to my house for Thanksgiving (he wasn't INVITED or anything) with his two front teeth knocked out. That's why he tawks wike dis. And ever since then, he's been coming over to my house all the time after some daredevil stunt for me to nurse him and pamper him and fuss over him. He's a bit annoying at times. But anyway, back to the story.

"I was walking awong, minding my own business-" he started.

"I've heard THAT one before." I remarked.

"Wew, I wanted to twy skiing, so I got up out of the gwound-"

"WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT GETTING OUT OF THE GROUND?! Remember the LAST time you did that?!"

I shuddered to think of the time he popped up near a zoo and had gotten beaten by a gorilla. Suddenly he rose up out of the ground. Whoops. I forgot he was 3 feet taller than me.

"I AM 29 YEAWS OWD AND YOU AWE 3! YOU DO NOT BOSS ME AWOUND!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, you can cut out the drama." I said. He settled down.

"Anyway, I'm weawy here to ask you something." I braced myself for the usual pleading.

"Spuddie, do you want to come to Antarctica with me?"

CHAPTER 1, PART 2

Woah, this was a new one! Psylett was crazy, but I didn't know he was THIS crazy!
"Um...why are you going to Antarctica? How are you going to Antarctica?!"
"I'll fly you! Because it's fun!" he responded.
"This is going to be a disaster."
"No it isn't!"
I knew there would be no chance of me NOT going. Psylett would argue you to death. That's why I let him stay at my house all those times, I just thought it would be better to let him sleep n my couch than to be arguing with him whenever he decided to come over, which usually happened to be 3:00 AM.
"Well, okay, but do we have to? I mean, is that even legal?"
"It's either that or Africa, where they have these things cawed hyenas."
"What the heck is a hyena?"
"Wew, they sound wike this." he said, and gave me a laugh that sounded like a blimp crash-landing into a wagon full of monkeys.
"AAAAGGGGHHH!! TURN IT OFF!! TURN IT OFF!!!' I screamed.
Just then I realized I hadn't sneezed once since Psylett arrived, and I didn't feel so sick anymore! Psylett must have cured me or something! Or maybe it was just the fact that I had been standing in the freezing cold for 10 minutes. Whatever.
"All right, let's not go to Africa." I said. "But when are we leaving for Antarctica? You do realize it's Christmas Eve, right?"
"Yes, I do! That's the whole weason we're going! We'll probably bump into Santa!"
"Wait, we're leaving TONIGHT?! You're crazy! We'll miss Christmas tomorrow!"
He gave me a mischievous smile.
"No, we won't!"
I sighed. It was going to be a long night.

CHAPTER 2

Psylett flew out of the ground, and I climbed on his back. He started flying, and at first I thought it was really boring. But as we got up in the air, it was purely magical. I saw everyone's Christmas lights on, and snow was covering everything, and the stars were glimmering like little candles up in the sky. It was wonderful. I then fell asleep for most of the ride and woke up somewhere in South America. I guess I should use this time to tell you more about Psylett. You see, when we were little, like 1 or 2 weeks old, Psylett was a potato too. But he did have something in common with what he is now- he was a little daredevil. He would bite on electrical cords, he would roll dangerously close to the stairs, and he would get into his mom's makeup. A LOT. I even have a picture.

[insert funny picture of Spuddie and Psylett the potato wearing tons of bad makeup here]

Guess which one is him? You see, he looks like a zombie clown! Well anyway, once he saw his mom's makeup, he wanted MORE. So the next time his mom brought him into a store, he grabbed the nearest thing that looked like face paint or makeup. He wouldn't have done that if he had been able to read the warning on it. It said: 'Magical serum. ABSOLUTELY DO NOT KEEP IN REACH OF BABIES!' But it was too late. He ripped open the box, and liquid poured over his hands. Suddenly he disappeared, and didn't return for a couple minutes. When he returned though, he had become a 29-year old duck. His mom was so scared that she dropped Psylett and ran away. He was so embarrassed that he decided to live in the ground from then on. Poor Psylett. Another thing is- "WOAH! OW!" I screamed. "Awe (are) you okay?" Psylett asked. "We had some swight turbulence." he continued, turning around. At that same moment, my hat fell into the depths below. "Noo, my haaaat!" I bawled as I looked shouted over Psylett's back. "SPUDDIE!!" he screamed. I looked up at him- wait, up? Suddenly, I realized I didn't feel so stable anymore. "AAAHHHH!!" I screamed as I fell (because, as we all know, panicking and screaming your head off in a bad situation is the best thing to do.) "I'M COMING!! OHMIGOSH, WATCH OUT!!!!" Psylett shrieked. I looked down but it was too late. There was a huge pole sticking out right where I was falling. "AIEEEEE!" I screamed.

I hope you enjoyed it! This story will be continued later. Bye for now!

~Spuddie/Spud/Joe III

Writin' a Story!

Hey everyone! I'm back! And I want to write a story because it's been such a long time since I just sat down and wrote a story on this blog. I'm just going to make this up as  I go with only a little bit of editing! So here we go. I don't know what the title is yet.

Untitled (for now) by neros1234
One fine day, a cat was walking along a fence, jut minding her own business. She had nothing in particular to do that day, she was just chilling and walking on the fence for something to do. There was a bowl of food inside waiting for her, but she wasn't especially hungry. She could smell baking cookies from the neighbor's house next door and that changed. She took a big sniff at the air-mmm, chocolate chip! She relaxed and purred contentedly, and then ran off in search of those cookies- and then she remembered she was standing on a fence. She howled and clawed at the air, but luckily landed on a bush. That fence was taller than she expected. She made her way out of the bush, licking sticks and leaves out of her fur, and set off again for the cookies. When the neighbors noticed her standing on the windowsill, they called out "Stella! Aww, who's a pretty kitty? You are! Yes you are!" Stella purred and they rubbed her chin. They were good neighbors. "Sorry kitty, but you can't have any cookies, chocolate isn't good for dogs and cats." the lady said. "But I have something else for you!" She reached into her pocket and brought out a handful of kitty treats. "Liver and salmon, I know you like those!" she told Stella. Stella greedily munched on the treats while the neighbors pet her. Suddenly someone cried out. "Stella! Stella, where are you?" Stella jumped down from the neighbors' windowsill. "Bye!" they called. "There you are!" Peter and Claudia's mom said. "I was worried abut you! I thought you were lost!" She picked her up. "Okay, let's go home now. There's food for you in the kitchen." She set Stella down and the contented cat walked into the living room. Peter, a 1-year old wearing nothing but a Winnie the Pooh shirt, was sitting on the floor playing with Claudia, his 8-year-old sister. She was tickling him and attempting to read her book at the same time. It was not working, as every chance he got Peter would try to steal her book and throw it across the room. Eventually Claudia gave up and went to go read on the couch. Stella moseyed over to Peter and he giggled when he saw her. "Claya! Claya!" he said. "What, Peter?" Claudia said from the couch. "Catoy!" he said. "Okay, I'll go get you a cat toy. Just don't pull Stella's tail." Claudia walked into the kitchen where they kept the cat toys and tossed one to Peter. "Here you are!" she said. Peter shook the toy and Stella batted at it. Peter giggled. "Okay everyone, time for dinner! Come to the table!" their mom called. Claudia picked up Peer an brought him to the table. Stella went outside again. She would scavenge for table scraps later. It was a nice evening, the sky was a deep shade of lavender and she could smell the flowers growing in the family's garden. But something was amiss. She couldn't tell what exactly- maybe because the grill was open?- but something was not right. She walked out into the driveway to peek around, but then a a strong uneasy feeling came over her. She turned around quickly to go back inside- and found herself staring into the barrel of a cold red gun.

Stella woke up hours later in some sort of box. She massaged the spot in her shoulder where the tranquilizer dart had gotten lodged. She tried to remember where she was, but couldn't. Why was she in a box? Why were there unfamiliar smells all around? And why was it so quiet? Living in a house with 4 people in it, it was never this quiet. It must be nighttime, she thought. Suddenly memories came flooding back to her- playing with Peter, going outside, being shot with a tranquilizer gun. She shivered, it was cold in that box. Where were Peter, Claudia and their parents? Were they looking for her? She hoped so. She heard a shout- the first noise she had heard since she woke up- and jumped up, startled. She hissed and tried to figure a way out. The box didn't look very sturdy, it looked like it was made of foam or plastic. She scratched the top of it, and flakes of Styrofoam rained down on her. It looked easy enough to escape, and so she started scratching more at the walls of the box. Suddenly she slid over to the other side, and she heard voices. Someone had picked up this box. She looked though the hole she had made in the wall of the box, there were two men talking to each other in hushed tones. She didn't understand a lot of English, but she had learned phrases such as 'food', 'Stella', 'cat', 'yes', 'no', and Peter and Claudia's names, as well as other things. The men were not saying anything that she understood, but she could tell it wasn't nice things. She hissed and clawed at the man's hand, and he almost dropped the box in surprise.  He yelled at her through the opening and she shrunk back. They were in some sort of abandoned airport, or at least it looked abandoned at the moment. It was very early morning, she could tell by the sky, so maybe no one was there yet. She wondered if she still had her collar, she couldn't see her neck and couldn't feel it very well either. If she had her collar, she still had a small chance of someone finding and rescuing her, but that was unlikely at best. She hadn't been to many airports, they went on a trip once when Claudia was little and brought Stella along, but that was the only time. It was scary being on the plane on the way there, but she remembered she had gotten used to it on the trip back. Hopefully she could get out of her prison before they boarded the plane, but she would have to act fast, the men were only a few feet away from a smaller plane than the others she had seen. She began scratching at the bottom of the box, but that must have been reinforced because she could not break through it as easily as she had with the walls and ceiling. She began scratching as hard as she could at the walls, but then she was bounced around and realized they must be going up the stairs to the plane. This was her last chance! She finally broke free of the wall and leaped out of the box- right as it fell and she jumped into the man's hands. He must have noticed her scratching and dropped the box at the right time. She meowed fiercely and bit into his hand, drawing blood. He screamed and threw her across the room. She ran back at him, furious for what he had done, but then the other man brought out the dreaded tranquilizer gun. She hissed and yelled in the corner and looked generally menacing, but the man didn't seem fazed. Eventually they went into the cockpit of the plane, and Stella heard them direct some other evil man to drive it. Stella was enraged. She walked around to explore the plane, but there wasn't much. There was the door and the corner Stella was in earlier, but other than that, the plane was bare. And they had locked the door of the cockpit. There was a window, but it was too high for her to see out of. he felt like crying. What started out as a perfect day now was the worst one of her life. What were these awful people planning to do with her? Why would they just steal a cat from her own driveway? She felt mad at herself. She should never have walked out into the driveway. She should have stayed in the nice, safe backyard, surrounded by the very fence that she was walking on not 10 hours ago. The plane was rumbling, it had taken off and was now heading for whereever it was heading. Stella lay down and fell asleep.

The plane was shaking. Stella jumped awake when she slid over to the side of the plane. It didn't look like the nasty drivers were having a very smooth landing. But then again, they were ruthless criminals who had stolen a cat from somebody's home without any thought to her safety, so they didn't deserve a good place to land. Stella slid over to the other side of the plane and hit it with such force that she cried out. She did her best to stay grounded, but the plane was shaking and moving around so violently that it was hard to even dig her claws into the floor. She was glad the door wasn't open, or she would have fallen out for sure. This terrible shaking and trembling went on for several minutes, until at last the plane stopped and the pilots unlocked the cockpit and walked out. Stella swiped at them and hissed like there was no tomorrow, but it didn't even matter to them. The last one picked her up and put her in yet another box, and then walked out of the plane. They were in some sort of large gathering of people- a marketplace, maybe?- she could hear lots of people chatting and laughing, unaware that there were men very close to them who had kidnapped a cat and brought her on a plane to this unfamiliar place. What were these men doing here? Did they want to sell her? That would be despicable and illegal. But they apparently didn't need anything here, as the sounds quickly faded and they got into a car that was parked in somewhere dark. They drove silently and efficiently, and a few minutes later Stella found herself in what she recognized as a hotel. They took the elevator up, and then the men split up to go to different rooms, and Stella was handed off to person after person until one of them took her and threw her box on the floor. This room was carpeted though, so it didn't hurt. Stella could hear loud knocking noises, but she couldn't tell where they were coming from. She looked over at the man who had brought her here. He took a piece of paper out of his briefcase, read through it, and shredded it up. He then put the shreds in his mouth and swallowed. Stella was getting cramped- this box wasn't as big as the other one, and it certainly wasn't padded. Finally the man finished whatever evil things he was doing and walked out of the room, locking the door as he left. Stella burst out of her box, ripping apart the flimsy walls and feeling an immediate sense of relief. She walked around, exploring the place a little. She was thrown near a dresser with a TV on it, and there was a bed and a closet. The room was clean; the maid had probably come in and cleaned it before the man with the briefcase came. Stella hopped up on the bed, it had been what seemed like days since she truly relaxed. She looked up towards the ceiling- and almost jumped out of her skin. A parrot was sitting on the bedpost looking at her. It squawked.
*Author's note- I'm not gonna make this story have talking animals. Just saying.
Stella was so scared she ran under the bed. The parrot flew down to the floor and turned its head. It squawked again. How could this parrot have gotten in here? the window was closed, and she didn't see another box when she came in. Was it already here when she came? She couldn't tell.

Nico the African gray parrot was confused. Who was this? He had never seen one like it before. It had long feathers and it was covered in dirt, like he was. It had white and brown markings, unlike him. He was all gray except for his red tail feathers. He wondered if it was in that box that had come in a few minutes ago. At that time he was in the bathroom pecking at the sink. He found that when he did that it made funny loud knocking noises and he liked to do it. He stared at this mysterious creature and it made a startling hissing sound, like the snakes in the savanna. He missed the savanna. Those strange men with bags had taken him from there and put him on a plane and brought him here. He wondered if he would ever go back. Suddenly the creature made the hissing sound again and Nico flew up to the ceiling again.


That's all for now. This story will be finished on August 2nd, 2015.
~

An Animal Jam Story

Heylo everyone! It's 2015! Interesting. Not much different from 2014. Well, it has been for a while so that makes sense that it's not different. What's been new with me? Well, I found something DISGUSTING the other day. Someone had taken an innocent potato like myself, shredded it up, and fried it! Just the thought of that. Oh. Wait, hold on. Neros is saying something...

Oh. Neros says that I'm the only talking potato and that the other ones don't have feelings. She also says that potato chips are tasty. WELL SCREW YOU, NEROS!!! I have better things to do! Like tell you a story. This one's about Animal Jam, that weird game that Neros is always playing. (Don't tell her I said that!) It's quite long. Anyway, enjoy the first story of 2015!

Chapter 1

Cosmo and Liza stood before an enormous pile of gems. "I don't want to do this, Cosmo!" Liza said. "I know, but we have no gems left for the Jammers! If they don't get their gems, the Phantom King will take over Jamaa!" "Okay. Here goes nothing!" Liza replied, taking a deep breath. Then she plunged way, way down into the giant pile of gems.

Chapter 2

"Cosmo! Catch these! Quick!" Phantoms were starting to come out of the holes on the sides of the pile (because the phantoms had stolen the gems in the first place) and they were heading straight for Liza! She threw up a few more handfuls and tried climbing up the gem pile, but she kept slipping! "Cosmo! Go get help!" she shouted. Then she slipped. A phantom was straight below her! She screamed and waited for it to be all over.

Chapter 3

But she didn't fall into the phantom abyss. Instead, she hung...right above it? Liza didn't understand until she looked up. There was Peck, grasping a ladder which Liza was holding the other end of. She crawled up to safety.

"So I think you owe me a thank you." Peck said in a satisfactory way, once Liza was safe and sound. "Okay. Thanks so much, Peck for saving my life! Hey-where's Cosmo?" They both looked down Cosmo had jumped down there and was making his chomper plants. "Not again. Do you want us to send down the ladder?" Peck asked. "No, I'm good. But hey-could someone else get down here and collect gems? Bring some bags, too." So Peck jumped down with an armful of bags. Liza held the ladder. Cosmo and Peck began scooping up gems and throwing them to Liza. She usually caught them, but one time she made a flying leap to grab them, falling into the slowly diminishing pile of gems and letting..go..of the..ladder.

Chapter 4

They all filled up bags now, and in a flash they were completely out of bags. So they climbed up on the very small pile of gems and called for help. And eventually, when the phantoms had almost caught the brave Alphas, and they had lost all hope, help did come. "GREELY!" Peck, Liza and Cosmo all shouted at once. The phantoms froze. "Come on." Peck said. "These phantoms won't be frozen for long." "Hey, that was my line!" complained Greely.

Peck, Liza, Cosmo and Greely stood before a tiny pile of gems and a whiole lot of angry phantoms (who weren't frozen from Greely's magic anymore.) "Whew, that was close." said Cosmo. "Yeah, I'm glad we don't have to do that for a LONG time!" Peck said, smiling at the many bags of gems they had collected. "For a really long time..." Greely said.

DUN DANAAAAAA!!!

HELLO! GUESS WHAT?! I'M BACK!!!! Just in time for my 4th birthday party! WHICH just so happens to be TOMORROW!!!!! YAAAY!!!! This year's theme is...

DOCTOR WHO! That's right! No, I did not make that cake, my owner just searched it on Google Images. But that would be cool! Now you can sing Hapy Birthday while I show you cool emoticons.

MUSTACHE!! :{)
Mustache 2! :|)
Mustache 3! :>)
Nose face: :<)
Nose face 2: :-)

Okay, that's it. Comment your favorite flavor of cake!
~Spuddie/Spud/Joe III

Sarah the Toad

1/3/2014

Hello! Here is a story about my friend Sarah the toad.

There once was a toad who hated hopping. She went to Mr. Unicorn to help her. "Hello moo!" he called back. "What do you want?" "I want to not be able to hop!" she said.
(pic)
"No!" said Mr. Unicorn. "You have to hop! You're a toad, god dang it!!!" "Ok." said Sarah. She was very sad. So she went to Mr. Balloon Guy to help her.
(pic)
"Mr. Balloon guy, hello!" sobbed Sarah. "Can you help me not be able to hop?" "Why would you want to do that?" sighed Mr. Balloon Guy. "Cuz it's too hard." moped Sarah.
(pic)
"Well, I can't do that, but I can give you a balloon!" said Mr. Balloon Guy. "But-but I don't have any money!" sobbed Sarah. "Nope, I'll give you one for free!" "Really?" asked Sarah. "Yep!" "Oh thank you, thank you!" she cried. Mr. Balloon Guy handed her a red balloon and a wink. "Take good care of it, don't pop it!"
(pic)
When Sarah got to an open field she got on her balloon and starting flying. "Wee!" she called. And she lived happily floatingly ever after.

Fred the Tree

Hi everyone! Well, Halloween is over. But I do have a story to tell! This one's about my friend Fred the Tree.

"What's there to be a tree?" asked Fred the Tree. "All you do is swing your branches." "I know, right!" said a leprechaun appearing next to him. "Woah, how did you get here?" asked Fred. "Magic." replied the leprechaun.

"I can help you!" the leprechaun said. "I can give you powers to be anything!" "Sure! Awesome!" said Fred being puffed by smoke. "Now what do you want to be?" asked the leprechaun. "A mailbox!" Fred shouted.

"Wow. It's really boring being a mailbox." said Fred. "All you do is open and close." "Well, then change into something else!" the leprechaun said. "Okay, then, a glass bottle!" Fred said. "Wish granted!" said the leprechaun.

Fred tried to move. But he couldn't. He couldn't do anything.  Fortunately, the leprechaun could read minds, so he heard Fred thinking, "This is awful! I can't do anything, and soon I'll go to the smelly old recycling place! "Well, then why don't you change into something else?" the leprechaun said. "Ok, a-WAIT! HOW CAN YOU READ MY MIND??!!" Fred thought. The leprechaun slapped Fred. "Just get on with it!" he said. "All right, all right." thought Fred. "How about a rock?"

"Are you sure?" asked the leprechaun. "Yeah!" thought Fred. "All right," said the leprechaun uncertainly. "Wish granted." "COOL! I'M A ROCK!" thought Fred. "Um, yeah. so whaddaya wanna do?" asked the leprechaun. "Let's play Who Can Throw their Apples the Farthest!" thought Fred. "Oh. Yeah. I'm not a tree anymore." he said glumly. "How about "Who Can Make the Funniest Face?" suggested the leprechaun. "Yeah! That's a fun one!" thought Fred. "Oh. Yeah. I don't have a face." he replied sadly. "Being a rock is no fun! I miss being a tree!" "Well, do you want to change back into a tree?" asked the leprechaun.

"YES!" thought Fred. "Ok!" said the leprechaun. "Wish granted!" Then he disappeared. But Fred didn't care. He loved being a tree, and suddenly it didn't seem so boring after all.

THE END!!! Hope you liked it!!

~Spuddie/Spud/Joe III

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!! HEH HEH!!!!

Hello! I am going to TAKE OVER THE WO- I mean, ummm.... CHARM you with my sweet nature! And stuff. If I could see better. If you ask me, these glasses are getting a little fuzzy these days. Anywho, it's Halloween! Great! The perfect time to STEAL CAND- I mean go trick-or-treating! This is my pumpkin, by the way.

Click here for it. Be warned- it's really scary though!

It's a bit creepy, isn't it? And I did NOT steal it from pumpkin carver Ray Villafane. I did steal this one- I MEAN- no I didn't! Why'd I say that? Silly Mudd- Okay, I think I should stop talking right now. Oo! And then I made another pumpkin carving, but it's really (and I mean REALLY) creepy so if you don't want to see it, that's fine. But if you're the adventurous type, click here.

But I guess that zombie pumpkin is kind of scary, too...

Anyway, step RIGHT in here, kiddies! And then eat some of my DELICIOUS candy!! Heh, heh, then you go to sleep for a LONG time! While I TAKE OVER THE WORL- I mean, take good care of you! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Muddy/Mud/Toe III  I mean
~Spuddie/Spud/Joe III !
Phewph! That was a close one! Don't want THEM finding out! Wait, I'm still on? HOW DO YOU TURN THIS THING OFF??!!! Oh, there i-